Gender roles seem to be gone. I’m 41, a single Mother, working 3 jobs within my career of choice, and I’m happy. I’m also disheartened. This isn’t how I planned my life. I planned to be the stay at home wife/mom, hosting parties, being of service to my community. Getting breakfast for the family, sending them out the door with lunches and a kiss. Yeah. Didn’t work that way.
Marriage failed (thank GOD!) I was playing a dual role. A wife taking care of her husband and the home, all while maintaining a 50+ hour a week “career”. Then we had a baby, and all hell broke loose. (This is for another post)……
Here I am. Doing what I love. I’m still fulfilling my role of a “hostess”, but in the capacity of selling wine, acting as a concierge, so to speak. I’m hosting the party, sure, making sure the guests leave happy. Selling wine. People are happy when they have wine. I’m challenging myself with classes on wine. Delving into social media and wine marketing. And I’m a single Mom. Raising a son. Volunteering in his class.
Encountered a ball buster tonight. High profile career lady. Making her own rules. And Fuck those who don’t like it. Never married. No kids. Glamorous type of a lady, until she posed the question to me, “how is it that so many women in Napa don’t DO ANYTHING?” I asked her what she meant. “I mean, they don’t DO ANYTHING! No careers, nothing! They “volunteer”, I can’t have a conversation with these women! Can’t they think for themselves?”
Yikes! Yes, dammit, they CAN think for themselves. I get that you were a bra burner in the 60′s, but heck, not all women aspire to that. Some women prefer the gender roles. They are blessed that their husbands have a great paying career. They are blessed that they can raise their own children, and not put them though 40+ hours a week of daycare. Maybe volunteering is THEIR passion, just as her career is her passion. How dare ANYONE fault anyone else for following their passion! And how dare ANYONE assume that because a women chooses a life of service, volunteer work, that she is somehow a lower class citizen!
I, for one, am weary of making all the decisions, 24/7. How I long to be home when my child gets home from school, so I can help with homework, cook a meal, bathe them, read to them, and have them in bed at a reasonable hour. Well guess what? I can’t!
I’m doing the best I can in a situation that I got myself into. I’m a Mommy. I’m holding down a career, and following my passion. I didn’t need to burn any freaking bras to get here. My son will be proud of his Mom. He’ll say that she provided for him, was happy, followed her dreams, and was successful. My child is a gift that I will leave to the world.
I hope ball buster has created a legacy within her chosen career. Because, if she hasn’t…. what is she leaving as her gift to the world when she dies? Her fancy BMW? The rest of her business cards, with all the fancy letters behind her name? A home or two that won’t go to anyone? What is she leaving?
Sometimes, I just want to be the girl…..